Three Evidences

The 23rd is always a disturbing day, filled with the few recent memories that should be kept in the depths of my mind. Although it is her day and that somehow it would be nice to wish her well, I reckon it would definitely be a bad idea. Not that it would cause discomfort, the reason is a little more selfish than that. I mean, why bother doing something for someone that won't even care? You call, say hi and then comes that tone of voice that almost shouts "why the hell are YOU calling me?". The indifference is quite effective when it come to these cases. Whether you want or not, it is impossible not creating any expectation. And it also happens on the 13th and every now and then on the 24th. At least I could keep, although sometimes I do forget, the 14th and the 18th.

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Lately, making plans has become just as seldom as meeting interesting people. Not that one thing is directly related to the other - but knowing me a bit is enough to get the picture. Nevertheless, I started to plan, rearranged some things, researched about others. And I was excited, after all it is the fulfillment (or at least the beginning of) of a dream, and they are so scarce. Then comes the change and it is not something that is manageable. All of the sudden I have to make a choice that will most likely end or postpone the plan. Further to that, the decision will unleash inevitable consequences. At first, the shock and disappointment. So, I went out for lunch and once again I am reminded of what really matters. All of a sudden, this change is exactly what it takes to make other plans that were on hold starting moving again. In this case, it is not a matter of where but a matter of whom.
Anyway, it's not easy, although necessary, maintaining the stoic pose.

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It was a pleasant evening, we had dinner and talked about life and the past month-or-so since we last met. The topic was mainly about relationships and how our perspective changes along with our "lifetime elapsed". Bottom line is that we can group the main problems of a relationship within two topics - condition and search.
Condition is your current state of mind and state of life. If a relationship starts when one or both are in a bad state, it will most likely fail. Unless you don't get better, which is sick. Sometimes, people have to feign "illnesses" to make the relationship go on. Nonsense.
Search is about what you look for and that must be the corner stone of how to start a good relationship. Once settled, it must be pursued without wavering. Don't close doors but don't be afraid to slam them shut when it is not what you seek.

As Mr. Carroll once wrote: If you do not know where you want to get to, it doesn't matter which way you go. That is why the search is so arduous. Who searches anyone, becomes anyone. And will certainly find anyone.
This has nothing to do with the finding-the-one-and-living-happily-ever-after-crap. It is about finding someone that can make you happy and that can be happy with you.There is no way to face it with a half-assed attitude. After all, there is no such thing as being half-happy.