Bid you farewell

Doug Funny mode: ON

It was a couple of years before this anime-manga trend that exploded around the globe, specially in Brazil, with Cavaleiros do Zodiaco. I was six or seven maybe, inbetween some tv shows in Cultura there was this Telecurso 2000-like japanese course in which it was taught how to give traffic instructions - "turn right", "turn left", "go ahead", and so on. It was so interesting that I memorized those sentences that, some ten-or-so years later, I'd see again during classes.

So came the japan-fever with all the anime and stuff and I went along, but even still I had an admiration that went beyond the cartoon/culture barrier. When I turned 17, I decided to study japanese on my own, bought some books. Around 19-20, I enrolled in a school for formal studies. And this year, I decided to try one last time to apply for a scholarship, to make a dream come true - living and studing in Japan.

Well, I guess it was not meant to me. You see, I've had several dreams once upon a time - among them there was the "living abroad and studying". What I was not told was that dreams do not come true out of the blue - the path you lead is what creates the possibility for them to be fulfilled. And the path I have lead so far was way to far from what it takes to fulfill this dream - I chose a degree and post-graduation in subjects that I do not have particular interest. Somewhere, back in the past, I took the wrong turn - and at that point, although oblivious of such, I decided that this dream was not supposed to be real.

So, with the little that remains of me, I bid farewell to this dream - maybe the first one. In order to move forward, I must move past it. It no longer pains me to say it, I think that I knew all along. Just stick with the reality - a guy that will study the language and have bitter remembrance about it all.

Since there is no time to start over, there is also no way to correct things if the first step went wrong.

Doug Funny mode: OFF